The Nahmias Cipher Report

BUKAVU, Democratic Republic of Congo – First Lady Olive Lembe Kabila, the wife of President Joseph Kabila led approximately 17,000 women on Sunday in a march against sexual violence in the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC).  The term ‘weaponized rape,’ has come to define the practice of raping women as a means of subjugating and [...]

This morning Americans were greeted with recaps of CNN’s sobering and scathing report about child sex trafficking on Craigslist. This is not the first time that this allegation has made headlines, however, last night’s exposé signaled the beginning of a frontal assault on a long smoldering problem of Craigslist facilitating the trafficking and sale of children for sex.

Last month, two young girls sold for sex on Craigslist wrote letters to CEO Jim Buckmaster and Craig Newmark. One of them, M.C. who was first forced into prostitution at 11, told them she was forced to post her own ads to Craigslist during the day, and then answer them at night. Her pimp drove her around the country for years, using Craigslist as the primary means to advertise her. If she didn’t post on Craigslist, M.C.’s pimp would beat her and dunk her in ice water baths. The website was a central figure in the years of slavery and abuse she suffered.

Most parents know the admixture of fear and excitement that precedes the arrival of a new family member. Whether biological, surrogate or adoptive, a thousand questions haunt us: Will we be good parents? Can we avoid the mistakes we feel that our parents made? Will the child be healthy? Will we have the capacity to love and nurture the child often at the expense of our needs and desires? Do we have the strength and stamina to see this through to the end which may mark our waning tenure on planet earth?

Of course this is not an exhaustive list, and people by virtue of their individual life experiences, personality, emotional landscape and thought processes may categorize these feelings differently, yet the basic essence remains the same. We are human, and as such recognize our fallibility. But for those who desire to procreate and to experience the challenge and accomplishment of unconditional love we push through these doubts to embark upon the journey of a lifetime.

One does not have to give birth a child to become a mother or provide the sperm that fertilizers an egg to become a father. Certainly, this is one means by which people can become parents, but just as many people choose surrogacy and adoption. Out of the millions of people who choose the latter, there exist an incalculable number of great parents who open their hearts so completely that the love and care they exhibit toward their children is indistinguishable from that of biological parents.

Unfortunately, far too many children fall prey to parents who are emotionally and spiritually stunted. These individuals join the rank and file of a cadre for whom the desire for children is commoditized to meet the procurer’s need for psychological or physical dominance, conformance with societal norms, free labor, or sex. I am intimately acquainted with the trauma a bad parent can inflict upon a child. During my childhood, my father’s hatred toward me manifested in both emotional and physical abuse which took years for me to process. Through intensive psychotherapy I continue to process and reconcile a world which had been turned inside out by the shortcomings of my seemingly omnipotent parental figure.

“I’m going to smile and make you think I’m happy, I’m going to laugh, so you don’t see me cry, and even if it kills me – I’m going to smile.” ~ Anonymous

Child pageants are as revolting and damaging to female children as the other heinous practices which have been highlighted in this blog. From Leblouh to Female Circumcision, the pain inflicted upon daughters by mothers who willingly participate in their physical and psychological abuse will haunt them for the remainder of their lives. These mothers are not bad people, they just want the best for their daughters when they try to physically mold and conform them to dangerous and idealized standards of beauty.

Ultimately, the problem with child beauty pageants is the sexualization of girls as young as 2 and 3 years old. There is no justification for this aspect of the industry. A child’s confidence lies not in how closely she can approximate a grown woman through the artifice of make-up, but in how we as parents help her to develop her innate gifts and abilities so that her external beauty compliments her personality and talent instead of dominating her existence.

Ayanna Nahmias, Editor-in-Chief Last Modified: 01:10 AM EDT, 3 May 2010 NEW DELHI, India – “Dalits are not allowed to drink from the same wells, attend the same temples, wear shoes in the presence of an upper caste, or drink from the same cups in tea stalls,” said Smita Narula, a senior researcher with Human [...]

Ayanna Nahmias, Editor-in-Chief Last Modified: 22:25 PM EDT, 26 April 2010 KUNDUZ PROVINCE, Afghanistan – Afghan women have been subjected to increasing levels of violence since 2002. The war-torn region is subject not only to external forces as America and its allies attempt to fortify the borders against Taliban insurgents, but to the internal pressures [...]

Ayanna Nahmias, Editor-in-Chief Last Modified: 16:35 PM EDT, 19 April 2010 AFRICA – The practice of female genital mutilation entails the partial or total cutting away of external female genitalia. Traditional healers, birth attendants, or elderly woman usually carry out the procedure, usually in septic environments. The clitoris is excised with crude instruments such as [...]

Ayanna Nahmias, Editor-in-Chief Last Modified: 02:18 AM EDT, 11 April 2010 MAURITANIA, West Africa – Thousands of young girls in the West African country Mauritania, continue to be subjected to the cruel practice of gavage or force-feeding to make them more desirable for marriage. Every year girls as young as five are routinely forced to undergo [...]

In the “World’s Untold Stories: Innocence for Sale,” Aaron Cohen and CNN go undercover in Cambodia. The program vividly depicts the abject cruelty, heartless abuse and dehumanizing condition of children sold into sexual slavery, often by their parents. Once imprisoned, pedophiles who travel to the country from all parts of the world can pay roughly the same cost as a round of drinks for sex with a child. The documentary will enlighten and inspire new conversation about the challenges currently preventing aid workers and authorities from winning the battle in the struggle to free children from this most despicable form of modern-day slavery.