The Cow of ‘Ism’

Author Unknown
Last Modified: 13:52 p.m. DST, 26 August 2014


You have 2 cows.

The state takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
The neighbor loses the cow and wants another one.


You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and gives you some milk for your work, instead of a paycheck.


You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and makes you buy the milk.


You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and puts you in prison work camp until you like the idea of buying the milk.


You have 2 cows.

The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and stores the milk.
The milk goes bad, and they throw the milk away…


You have two cows.

You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.


You have two cows.

You sell one, to retire the debt, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
You grant yourself more stock options, and later you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.


You have two cows.

You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.

The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.

The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.

You sell one cow to buy a new President of the United States, leaving you with nine cows.

No accounting is provided with the release of the annual report. You then sell your bull to the public through an IPO of one of your new shell corporations.


You have two cows.

You go on strike, organize a riot, and use your farm tractors to block the roads, because you want three cows, and you know the government will cave…


You have two cows.

You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.

You then create a clever cow cartoon image called ‘Cowkimon’ and market it worldwide.

You announce a recall on the cows for a battery firmware issue.

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About Ayanna Nahmias

Ayanna Nahmias was interviewed on Radio Netherlands Worldwide program titled 'The State We’re In,' about her life in Africa and her determination to transcend her past. She started the Nahmias Cipher Report to provide information to readers about life in emerging economies, and to provide alternative insight into the challenges faced by women and children living in these countries. The blog features stories from around the world to inspire other people to persevere and triumph in the face of great adversity. She blogs about current events in emerging economies, international politics, human rights abuses, women’s rights and child advocacy.

View all posts by Ayanna Nahmias

6 Comments on “The Cow of ‘Ism’”

  1. juwannadoright Says:

    Reblogged this on juwannadoright and commented:
    Departing from her generally serious coverage of worldwide news, this post from The Nahmias Cipher Report provides all of us with a good laugh – and who doesn’t need a good laugh?


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