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A Rather Remarkable Obituary

Ayanna Nahmias, Editor-in-Chief
Last Modified: 11:44 AM EDT, 14 December 2011

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Mr. Common Sense.

Mr. Sense had been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, and that life isn’t always fair.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in charge).

His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.

Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition.

Mr. Sense declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student, but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, then she spilled a bit in her lap and was awarded a huge financial settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by two step brothers:  My Rights and Ima Whiner.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

Received from Tim Krell, January 17, 2006
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About Ayanna Nahmias

Ayanna Nahmias was interviewed on Radio Netherlands Worldwide program titled 'The State We’re In,' about her life in Africa and her determination to transcend her past. She started the Nahmias Cipher Report to provide information to readers about life in emerging economies, and to provide alternative insight into the challenges faced by women and children living in these countries. The blog features stories from around the world to inspire other people to persevere and triumph in the face of great adversity. She blogs about current events in emerging economies, international politics, human rights abuses, women’s rights and child advocacy.

View all posts by Ayanna Nahmias

3 Comments on “A Rather Remarkable Obituary”

  1. Meaghan Says:

    Actually, the “hot coffee lawsuit” really was warranted. McDonalds had been previously been warned multiple times that it was serving coffee at much higher temperatures than was safe, and the plaintiff sustained second- and third-degree burns if I recall. This information comes from an article I read about personal injury suits in general, written by an actual lawyer.

    Reply

  2. Naudia Says:

    I love this

    Reply

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. RE: Obituary for Common Sense « The Musings of Lady Gwendolynn - 29/12/2011

    [...] A Rather Remarkable Obituary (ayannanahmias.com) [...]

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